White cream swirled with raspberry colored blueberry juice is swirling through my head.
Sundays are gloomy. I wonder if she is waiting for me wherever she is now. Cowardice gets in my way of joining her and finding out. I wonder if I will see her again first, and wait with her for everyone else. I like that thought. We can wait together, just me and her.
What will happen to me now. Is it selfish or self preservation? I worry in equal parts for the both of us. Is that wrong? I can't go back to nothing. I can't go back to having no one. But there is no one else. I had to wait 15 years for her, thats all I get. I feel like I'm losing my open door.
Theres beauty in release. It looks like art to me, aesthetically pleasing to no one else but me. Like architecture lines.
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